Well, this kid is almost full term. It's hard to believe! It is all very surreal and humbling, knowing I did absolutely NOTHING to deserve the blessing of being able to get pregnant. I have been reminded of that daily, and pray that I may continue to turn this blessing back to praise. The song "Blessed Be Your Name" has definitely had new meaning as I've gone on this journey. I've heard many lately say things like, "God wouldn't do that," and it has challenged me to realize that our God is a God that gives AND takes away. I have to be okay with that. More on this later...=)
Physically I have been doing pretty well. I really feel like the baby dropped last week. I definitely feel more pressure and experience more difficulty maneuvering. =) The baby is moving regularly but it's more rolling than kicking now that he/she is running out of room. My blood pressure was a little high last week, but was great yesterday, so that's good! The baby is head down and I'm measuring at 37 weeks, just a few days ahead.
Our house is awesome. =) I'll post a video tour soon. =) Thanks to our awesome friends, we are almost all moved in and have lots of painting done. We hope to be all set this weekend or early next week. It will depend a lot on our AC getting fixed....yeah, the joys of home ownership! A 9 month pregnant lady can only stand 85 degrees for so long. We still continue to praise God when the little things go wrong...like a near accident and then flat tire a mile down the road while moving...LOL. =) There really isn't anything we can do but choose joy...more on this below.
*P.S. I started this blog yesterday. Since then our air got fixed thanks to a home warranty, and we hope to be all moved in tomorrow!
Spiritually, I have been learning many things, mostly focused on the importance of the Gospel as THE one thing that needs to drive our lives. If you haven't reading Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney, you need to. It is a very short read but has transformed my thinking regarding issues like suffering, forgiveness, emotions, etc. It's not any new info, but it's basic reminders about WHY we need to serve and praise God in this life. I have a lot to share, so I'll put it in a numbered list. =)
1. Emotions cannot be trusted. "...for God SHOWS his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) We often look for a feeling when it comes to experiencing God. Emotions are NOT bad, but we need to learn about their rightful place. This verse from Romans challenged me to realize that God's love was most clearly shown on the cross. When I doubt God's love for me or "if He's there" I need to speak this truth to myself, knowing that my emotions will change, but this truth will NOT. Mahaney discusses the idea of "talking to yourself" and "preaching the Gospel to yourself." It sounds weird, but it really works. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselve of what is TRUE in order to get past what we momentarily feel. This can be applied to all sorts of situations, not just experiencing God. I use it often when it's tempting to let people's words hurt my feelings. I am MUCH more thick skinned than I used to be, and it's provided a lot of witnessing opportunities when people ask why I don't let things get to me.
2. When we realize our sinfulness and what WE'VE been saved from, it transforms how we experience anger towards others and our ability to forgive. OH HOW EASILY WE GET MAD AT PEOPLE! Seriously, I have seen this in myself and in others. It can be seen with how patient we are with people on the road or in stores, or how we react when we are "wronged." First, consider this verse from Colossians 3: 13: "...bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against the other, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you slso must forgive." Scripture says we are enemies of God! Left to our own devices, we would continue to reject God. Thanks to His mercy and grace, He works in us and draws us to Himself. Christ died on the cross and didn't just suffer physically, but suffered the WRATH OF GOD on our behalf! When we realize that we truly are enemies of God and were saved from His wrath, it is SO much easier to put into perspective how we should react when we are "wronged." Seriously, is getting your feelings hurt by what someone said or being cut off on the highway that big of a deal? My pet peeve is when others say, "He/she is so selfish." We need to seriously fight the urge to be prideful and label people based on their sin...we have been saved from the wrath of God! In sum, realizing our own sinfulness and reflecting on how much we have been forgiven from transforms our lives!
3. We WILL suffer in this life and need to have a cross-centered perspective. Now, I am not one who has suffered greatly, so I continue to pray that I can remember these truths when suffering does come. So how do you even begin to be okay with suffering? We must consider Christ. We often say how much He suffered physically, forgetting that lots of people were crucified in His day. What really matters is that He suffered the wrath of God....what WE deserved. He experienced extreme grief when faced with what was coming. Consider this from Matthew 26: 36-38: Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." He was overwelmed with sorrow to the point of death! This tells me two things: 1) We have a Savior that understands what it means to suffer, and that can bring much comfort! 2) He suffered FAR worse than we EVER will, so that helps put things in perspective.
Consider also James 1:2-4: "Count it all joy, my brothers,when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." God uses suffering to shape us into the men and women He wants us to be. Think about it, it's usually through life's trials that we learn the most about God, not when everything is going right.
So, to wrap all this up, consider the Gospel in all things. When you are "wronged", consider how much Christ suffered on our behalf and His response to it...is what you're facing that big of a deal? Consider also your own sinfulness...aren't we all selfish? Emotions are fleeting...stick to what is true and preach it to yourself if you need to! Finally, we WILL suffer in this life. Find comfort in knowing Christ understands and suffered more than we can ever imagine. That's all for now. =)
I'll be posting a tour of the house and prego pics soon...we've been a tad busy. =)
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