Christmas Noise

"I hear the sound of generosity ... the Salvation Army rings,
And bells on T.V. telling me, Another angel got its wings'.
In every shop, in every mall, on every side of town, They're ringing up the sales, and we all know that familiar sound. And I love all this season holds in store.
But deep within there's something I want more. Speak to me, speak to me. Lord, will You give me peace? Tell me truth, call my name through the Christmas noise. I long to hear Your voice, speak to me ..... "

From Speak to Me by Tony Wood and Ronnie Freeman

These are lyrics from a song that I sang at our church's Christmas program, and I have been truly challenged this Christmas to slow down and listen for what God is telling me. It is not easy being a stay at home mom and trying to manage taking care of myself too. In addition, it makes me so sad to see everyone buzzing around trying to find the perfect gift, when He has already been given to us!

Marc and I are going through a great devotional called "A Shelter in the Time of Storm" by Paul David Tripp. It takes us through Psalm 27 and has been a HUGE factor in my spiritual growth at this time. Whether or not you are going through a storm...it's relevant! This portion really stood out to me as it relates also to the whole idea of "Christmas noise":

"You weren't hardwired to be independently okay. You weren't hardwired to produce in yourself a system of experiences, relationships, and conclusions that would give you rest.You were designed to find your solid rock only in a dependent, loving, worshipful relationship with Another. In this way, every human being is on a quest for God; the problem is we don't know that, and in our quest for stability, we attempt to stand on an endless catalog of God-replacements that end up sinking with us."

Friends, this Christmas, don't rely on gifts and time with family to be your God-replacements. My prayer is that all those that read this find hope in Christ, the only One who can give us lasting hope!

Michael Oher Story

I mentioned in the closing of my sermon the story that has now been made into a movie--about Michael Oher. He is a young man adopted by a Christian family late in his teens who has since become an NFL player. You can read more about his story here:

The Ballad of Big Mike

Missing Mom This Week

Stephanie is in North Carolina til Thursday, so Caleb and I are bachelorin' it for a few days...And I must say after day one, it's overwhelming to care for the little guy by myself. I have deepened my respect for my wife and am so appreciative for all she does here in our home.

My mind also drifted into thinking about my own parents and how much I appreciate the care and love they showed me as a baby--the selflessness and sacrifice I am sure they showed. Thanks mom and dad!

Happy 5 Months!

Caleb is really changing literally every day. :) Two new things this week: eating his feet and putting his butt in the air while on his belly. He's also raising on his arms a LOT better...he'll be mobile before we know it...AHHHH! Caleb has officially stopped nursing late at night, so I have had to grieve that for lack of a better word. Since he had stopped nursing during the day, I could always count on that 10 o'clock feeding, but not anymore. It's actually a good thing even though I'm sad he's done nursing...I can go to bed earlier if I want to! :) I am still very thankful he is getting my milk through bottles during this flu season.

I finished My Sister's Keeper yesterday, and there was this great quote about having kids. I have felt great conviction lately about how attached I am getting to Caleb. OF COURSE, God wants us to love our kids, but just like all earthly things, we must realize that everything we have is God's. He can give and take away! So, while this isn't Scripture, it was enlightening for me:

"I realize then that we never HAVE children, we RECEIVE them. And sometimes it's not for quite as long as we would have expected or hoped. But it is still far better than never having had those children at all."

Here are some semi-recent videos of our little guy!

Changing the World....

This song has been in my head the last few days. Thought I'd share! It's called "One Heartbeat At a Time."

You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every "I know you can do it"
Every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain over time
They become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
How you're changing the world
You're changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that you
You are changing the world
One little heartbeat
At a time

And you're changing the world

What a blessing it is to stay at home with Caleb!! I will admit I continue to struggle on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis with choosing joy in the midst of my physical suffering with dizziness and nausea. I am thankful that it is "just allergies" but sometimes I just wish it would go away!! :) It is tempting to let it keep me from enjoying Caleb and getting out and doing things. However, this passage I read recently in 2 Peter really woke me up:

5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue,and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.

I have been very ineffective and unfruitful lately! I noticed that it mentioned that these qualities should be INCREASING. Oh how often I get in a rut!! The one I am most challenged by is knowledge. I need to be in God's word so much more than I am.
2 Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." I am amazed at how God uses His word to meet me right where I am if I just let Him!

Since Marc posted yesterday about baby Caleb, I won't, but man I love this kid:

Is it really November already?

We love fall in our family. Steph is dealing with some allergy problems day in and day out, which puts a severe damper on our overall enjoyment of the season, but what a beautiful time of year! We're going to have to buy a rake so I can get out there and rake up some leaves.

I'm about to head to bed, so this will be brief. But for those who don't get to see him often, Caleb is growing up pretty fast. I love seeing his smile every day. He's getting better at rolling over, learning the tricks of the trade. He's wearing blue jeans now :) Amidst all these positive developments, he's also fighting a cold right now and is pretty miserable at night time. But Steph and I (especially Steph, who I love and appreciate so much) are taking good care of our little guy. He is truly a gift from God!

One last funny story...Halloween night, I locked us out of our house. That's right. Had to call a locksmith and drop $75 bucks to get back in. Needless to say, something is going to be done to prevent this from happening again. :)

4 Month Adventures

Wow...a lot has happened this last month. Caleb has undergone many changes...some good and some hard for me, but we love this little guy:






Let's start with the good. :) Caleb has done so many new things recently! He rolls over from belly to back occasionally, grabs his feet, loves sucking on everything, folds his hands like he's praying, reaches for toys, and blows raspberries. He also recently got a new toy, a Jumperoo, and he LOVES to bounce! Some of these things seriously happened overnight...it's so cool! He continues to be a very joyful baby! He sleeps much better during the day now, usually napping several times for 45 mins. and at least one longer nap a day. I'm thankful that his catnapping a few weeks ago was just a phase!

The hardest thing lately has been his eating. We have battled with Caleb for a good month. He began not nursing for longer than 5-10 minutes at most, which would have been fine if he was getting enough. After a visit with a lactation consultant where he was weighed before and after he ate, we found he was doing okay, but he would have had to eat 10 plus times a day to get what he needed. Caleb wasn't down with that. :) He wasn't gaining weight either, so we tried supplementing with bottles. He then gained some weight, but it was the low end of what was acceptable, and it was a lot of work!

Finally, literally overnight, Caleb went on a nursing strike for several days this past week. That's a real term! :) He screamed bloody murder every time I would try to nurse, except in the morning and at night when he was tired. This is common for babies his age because he wants to look around and be social. Many babies snap out of it with some training and work, but since Caleb was having such a hard time before his strike, Marc and I have jointly decided it is in his best interest for me to pump and offer him breastmilk in a bottle for the duration of his first year, minus night feeding. I was afraid to call the lactation consultant because I thought she'd be judgemental, but she was super encouraging and said she thinks it's time to stop. Oh it has been emotional! I so wasn't ready for this. :) However, I still have night feeding, and Caleb is loving the bottles and eating WONDERFULLY. Plus, I feel a lot less stressed and overall like a better mommy!

Once again this little man teaches me the importance of flexibility in parenting and in life.:) SO excited to see what the next month brings...hopefully it's a tad more calm! I'll update in a week after he goes for his 4 month check-up!

If you ever wonder whether God loves you back....

I once knew a good woman who was the subject of many doubts, and when I got to the bottom of her doubt, it was this: she knew she loved Christ, but she was afraid he did not love her. “Oh!” I said, “that is a doubt that will never trouble me; never, by any possibility, because I am sure of this, that the heart is so corrupt, naturally, that love to God never did get there without God’s putting it there.” You may rest quite certain, that if you love God, it is a fruit, and not a root. It is the fruit of God’s love to you, and did not get there by the force of any goodness in you. You may conclude, with absolute certainty, that God loves you if you love God.

Quoted from Charles Spurgeon

Couldn't have said it better ourselves :)

Tribute to Cute Babies :)

I was watching videos of Caleb the other night and started crying...couldn't believe how he's growing! I told Marc, "I forget already!" He is so precious to us and is doing much better with eating! There was a lot of blood, but he recovered quickly, and he seems to be getting much more to eat. I will be visiting a lactation consultant soon to work on his latch...he still has some bad habits.:) There is a sore of sorts underneath his tongue...it's white and looks like a blister from what we can see. I'll be calling the dentist tomorrow to see what they think. He is such a happy little guy, evidenced by the photo below. He could care less about his tongue!



There are some other precious babies in our lives that I want to write about. We are so blessed to have three nieces and a nephew who are happy and healthy! They are so dear to us, and I treasure the recent videos we have of our visits with them. My sister, Rachel, has two sweeties. First, there's Aubrey, she is three and quite the talker! She is very sweet and gentle with Caleb and her new baby sister, Anna! Anna is a month younger than Caleb and is growing so fast too! I love her spikey hair. :) Marc's brother, Mike, has two sweeties as well! Ruby is two and a half and is very musical and joyful. Burke is almost one and is very pleasant and quiet-spirited. He also loves music as you can see by his dance moves! :)

Frenulum Fun

Aren't my boys handsome? I am such a blessed mommy! This is mainly a post asking for prayer. :) As you can probably see from the photo, Caleb is tongue-tied. While he is super cute not being able to stick out his tongue, we think it is causing his current feeding issues. He has always been decent at nursing, but lately he has struggled more, resulting in my supply getting dangerously low, and Caleb not gaining weight the last two weeks. Thank God we went in to see the pediatrician periodically for Caleb's skin and recent diarrhea. Luckily, the lack of weight gain hasn't gone on too long. I take back what I said in the previous post about breastfeeding being easy.:)

We are blessed to have a wonderful private lactation consultant nearby who advised me on how to get my supply back up and gave us the name of a dentist who clips frenulums for free. It is super easy to do and causes little trauma to the baby...the sooner the better. Here's how you can pray:

*Pray for the appointment tomorrow @1. That I will be calm and that Caleb will recover quickly.
*Pray that Caleb won't be too distressed and can continue to nurse.
*Pray that I will not put too much pressure on myself to magically produce more milk and make Caleb nurse. It can get emotional for sure.
*Pray for discernment. I want to continue nursing, but I want Caleb to be healthy.
*Pray that his diarrhea will clear up and low-grade fever will go away, and that if his being tongue-tied is not the issue with eating, that we will know.

WHEW! That's a lot, but I love my sweet boy and know you all who read this do too! We'll keep you updated!

Reflections on 3 Months of Parenthood

So many people have been asking me what's been easier and harder about parenting, and it got me thinking.:)I've been a mom a wopping 3 months, but it already seems natural. God is cool like that! However, I will NEVER claim to have it all together...some of my struggles have been a bit of a surprise. So, here it is:

Things That Have Been Easier Than Expected

*Childbirth...did it for 15 hours on 1 hour of sleep with a faulty epidural!
*Breastfeeding...no infections, little pain, got a good latcher despite being tongue-tied
*Sleeping in separate rooms...Caleb was in his own room within a week of coming home from the NICU. We couldn't stand his little noises!...cute, but didn't help us sleep!
*Leaving him...I have NO problem leaving him with a trusted sitter or family member. At first I worried it was too easy and that I wasn't bonded with him, but now I realize I just need a break!
*Sleep deprivation...Granted Caleb has almost always just woken up once during the night, but I still find I require a LOT less sleep.
*Losing the baby weight...NO credit to me...all breastfeeding!
*Taking Caleb places...It's definitely getting harder as he sleeps less during the day, and I haven't been brave enough to take him grocery shopping yet.

Things That Have Been Harder

*Dealing with vomit...This is DEFINITELY better than it was. I was just really surprised at how traumatized I was considering I saw MAJOR throw up as a teacher, this was just milk. When Caleb projectile vomits I don't panic, it's afterward that I replay it in my mind. I think it's just the thought that he wasn't feeling good that made me sad. I have definitely got to get used to him being sick...I'm working on it!
*Comparing him to the "norm"...This is mainly just a struggle with eating issues. Breastfeeding is tricky because I don't always know if he's getting enough, especially as he grows, becomes more efficient, leading to nursing less often and for shorter amounts of time. Sometimes I read too much online or on message boards instead of just trusting God and Caleb's cues.
*Mourning "kidlessness"...Sometimes I get really sad that we can't do stuff we used to do, like hang out with friends until really late, etc. This too is better, and I am starting to focus on what I CAN do now that I couldn't before. :)
*Loneliness...Even though factually I know I have lots of ladies to hang out with during the day, I get lonely, and sometimes I'm okay with being alone. Lately I feel like everyone is too busy, so I just don't bother to call. I need to buck up and get over it, and just reach out more!

There you have it! Mommies who read this, what about you?

Cutie Patootie

Here are some recent videos of Caleb with some commentary. I sound so annoying on the videos...try to tune me out. =)

Caleb slept through the night, meaning at least 6 hours straight, at around 8 weeks, and has started to do it more regularly now. He sleeps usually until at least 3, eats, and then goes back to sleep until 7 or 7:30. This is how we usually find him at 7. =)


He almost never takes a pacifier anymore. Instead, he has found his fingers! It gets a little annoying at times, like when I'm trying to feed him, but overall his fingers have helped him nap better during the day. =) I'm not worried about him getting hooked yet.


Caleb LOVES playing in his bouncy seat, with or without the toy bar. This day, I had his bouncy moved in a different position for some reason, and he became fixated on the television which had HSM on it. That is so rare for him as he is almost always disinterested in the television. He also always stares at the camera, to the point where he'll stop the cute thing he's doing just in time to stare at the camera when I turn it on...not this day!


He loves reading with us. He looks like such a big boy in this video! He's a lot easier to hold now that he can hold his head up most of the time.

Washing Feet...and Bottles, and Pooped-On Clothes...

Stephanie and I have been spending time in the Word together the last few weeks instead of as individuals, and it's been great! We've been in the gospel of John. And one passage that's been a huge help to us in recent days is John's account of Jesus washing the disciples feet in the Upper Room (John 13).

After Jesus washed the disciples' feet--including Judas'--He said this:

"If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet." -John 13:14 (ESV)

Steph and I discussed how we need to be humble servants in our church and also in our family. Being new parents, at times, we're tempted to get frustrated and tired and worn out. Sometimes we feel like throwing in the towel temporarily. But numerous times in the last few weeks we've been able to say, "we're washing feet, right?" And suddenly we remember that if our Savior humbled Himself to the point of washing feet like a slave and, more importantly, dying in our place, then we need to follow His example of humility in trying times. What an encouraging text when we're having to wash bottles, clean up throw-up, wake up in the middle of the night, or put Spray 'N Wash on pooped-on onesies.

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Caleb is such a blessing to us! He is growing very quickly--and at a healthy pace from all we are told. Not a day goes by that we don't remember to thank God for our little guy. He can hold his head up on his own now pretty much all the time. He sleeps through the night regularly--usually for about six hours straight. He coos and smiles very often. He kicks a ton and will be a crawling machine once he figures out how to prop himself up with his arms. He loves reading books with us. And he's found out that his fingers are a good pacifier :) We have several videos to share very soon hopefully.

God is Good ALL THE TIME

So a verse in James came to mind this morning as I took care of Caleb. James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." It was a hard start to the morning. As many of you know, we have had a lot of financial difficulty/things break lately...to the point where it is funny. =) Caleb and I both have some hefty medical bills, our AC in our house has been "fixed" four times but still runs all day and makes our electic bill sky high, garbage disposal broke, fridge is very old and stopped running the other day (but came back on=), AC is broken in both of our cars, Marc's car is running rough...the list goes on! This morning, since my husband was so kind to volunteer to feed Caleb last night, I had to pump this morning....BADLY. =) Well, there must have been a clog of sorts in one of the parts and milk got sucked into the pump...ugh! Needless to say, I was frustrated because that was another thing to replace and I really needed to pump!

Here's where Caleb came in...he's so precious. He started getting fussy right as Marc was leaving for work, and I knew he was getting sleepy or just needed attention. Well, I really needed to shower because I was irritated from the morning and needed to feel fresh! Caleb was such a little doll. I brought him into the hallway by the bathroom, and he just stared up at me with loving, inquisitive eyes. He LOVES watching me get ready. It's such a sweet time with him. I was then able to take a shower because he loves the sound of running water. After the shower he got fussy again and got the hiccups, poor guy. This was the cutest thing...he hiccuped like two times and then conked out dead asleep. =) I was able to then finish getting ready while he napped. Every day I try to remind myself what a gift he is. It's not his fault my pump broke. =)

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the things of this world...I've been reminded of that a lot lately while reading the gospel of John. When I went to look up the verse in James to post on here, I was pleasantly surprised to read the second half about God being unchanging. I had forgotten that part! God knew I needed that when everything seemed to be going wrong with the "stuff" in our lives. THEN to see the context I read the rest of James 1. Verses 2-8 really stood out:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Perseverence must indeed finish its work in our lives. God doesn't promise it will be easy! However, what hope we have of eternal life if we trust in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins. =) I am just so thrilled to see God working in a very tangible way in my life the last few days. Not only has He turned many of the above situations around, like the pediatric company giving us a 20% discount on Caleb's bill (!!), but more importantly, He has challenged me while in the trials, like reading this passage today. God is good...ALL THE TIME!

2 Months Old Today!

Look at the difference! He is such a big boy. =)

Caleb's Travels and Shenanigans

Aren't these pictures priceless? Mike and Lindsay came for a visit in July. We found this great park in our neighborhood and enjoyed catching up with them. I can't believe how grown Ruby and Burke are! We also celebrated Grandma's birthday in Cincinnati. Caleb got to meet everyone in the fam, even his 4 week old cousin...so fun! The last picture shows how long this boy is...he's going to be tall!

Caleb will be 2 months on Wednesday...WOW! The last few weeks he has really grown a ton, to the point where I've actually cried that he's growing up so fast...LOL seriously. It's neat to read about typical development and see it in him. For example, his rooting reflex is almost completely gone. He's also now coordinating is arm movements, thus less scratching. =) Sometime I catch him staring at his fists looking stoned....whhhhooooaaa coooool.=) He smiles a ton, especially first thing in the morning. I've got a great video I'll need to upload of him smiling in his crib the first night he slept through the night...7 hours! =) He is now typically doing 5 hour stretches of sleep at night...still good!

I love being a stay at home mom. I struggle some days with emotions and such, but I am committed to making sure I continue to talk through those with loved ones I trust. I am just fine, but recovery from pregnancy goes much more beyond the physical! It's such a blessing to be able to see him grow on a daily basis, and I pray that I never take that for granted!! However, I am looking forward to subbing once a week and going back to school in the fall. =)

On a more serious note, please pray for my allergies. Currently I am just back on nasal spray and Motrin for my migraines, since most allergy medicine is bad for Caleb or will dry up my milk supply. I am basically back to constant dizziness and occasional migraines. They checked it out a few years ago and said that my swollen nasal passages mess up my inner ears and thus my balance. I had a CAT scan of my head to rule out brain things. However, it is still unnerving. I prayed tonight for relief and also that God would make it very clear if we need to pursue more testing. However, whether or not I am healed, I want to bring God glory! I am not in control of my physical circumstance, but I can control my mind in His strength!

More soon, friends!

Steph

Videos from our Family

Sorry it's been so long since we updated. We've had a busy few weeks, with VBS being the primary thing that took so much time. I (Marc) will post more thoughts about parenting and life as a family of three tomorrow hopefully, but I wanted to link some videos up for you to see before I went to bed tonight. So here you go:

Anna Sophia

Caleb and his cousin are almost exactly a month apart,just as planned. =) Anna Sophia was born on July 13th at 4:09 pm. She was 6 pounds 3 ounces and 19.5 inches long. I think I got the info right! It was so cool to see her right after she was born and hold her. My sister was a champ!

One Month Old!

So Caleb is one month old!! He has grown SO MUCH! On Monday at the doc he had gained 10 oz. in one week...he is now probably approaching 9 pounds. =) This last week Marc's mom was here to help me while Marc did a mission week at church. We saw so much growth in him. It's really cool to see. =) Here's a list of some of his accomplishments/activities and some photos...new crib photo next to his bear coming soon!

*He loves to lay on his belly. He is starting to lift his head a LOT!
*His favorite position is belly down on our chests. =)
*He calms down almost immediately when we pick him up, which makes it very tempting to never let him cry!
*He grunts a LOT...not always when he needs to poop...sometimes just for fun I guess!
*He loves his play mat and kicks the chimes a lot.
*When he yawns he sounds like a pterodactyl (sp?)
*He continues to be a good eater every 2.5-3 hours. Last night he slept for four hours...yay!
*He almost always naps on outings, which makes it nice for us!...he's been shopping and to restaurants mainly. Oh yeah...and golfing!
*He generally doesn't cry during baths.
*Within the last week he increased his wake time to at least an hour at a time! Used to be 30 mins. if we were lucky!

Welcome Home!

Caleb came home on Wednesday, June 24th. He has been great! He continues to eat flexibly from a bottle or breast, my milk or formula. He sleeps in 3-4 hour stretches at night. He cries, but he calms down pretty quickly, especially when I rock him and "shoosh." I am learning that not all the books are right, and you have to do what's best for your baby. =) He had his first appointment today and passed with flying colors. We really like the doc. He weighs 7 pounds 9 ounces and is in size 1 diapers already!...he kept leaking out of the newborn ones. =) We are truly blessed! Continue to pray for good health and peace of mind. I am feeling much better by the way! It is good to be able to care for my son. Enjoy the photos and videos. =)

Steph

Caleb video

Here's some cute video of our little guy. =)

He will keep in perfect peace...

Hi, friends! I just wanted to document our last week for you and for me to remember believe it or not. =) I will detail Caleb's birth story more maybe at a later time.

Friday, June 12th 1:30 am Water broke in bed.

Friday, June 12th 4:30 pm Caleb Michael makes his entrance after 15 hours of labor!

Saturday, June 13th Spinal headache begins due to complications from the epidural.

Sunday, June 14th We find out we need to stay another day so Caleb can get checked out for fast respirations.

Monday, June 15th Caleb is taken to NICU since he has bacteria in his blood.

Monday, June 15th Spinal headache is unbearable, so I get a blood patch procedure to fix the leaking spinal fluid. Later that night when I was emotionally and physically more stable at home, I was told that Caleb has Group B strep, contracted from me even though I tested negative at 35 weeks.

Tuesday, June 16th First day I feel like myself! Stayed overnight with Caleb

Wednesday, June 17th Another good day! It was Marc's birthday and the youth

came to throw Marc a party. We both went home that night to catch up on sleep.

Thursday, June 18th I woke up fine and then started shaking uncontrollably and spiking a fever around 3 while alone feeding Caleb. I was admitted to the hospital late at night with pneumonia and will stay a few days for antibiotics.

God is in control! I love this verse: "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You." -Isa 26:3

Pray for Marc today especially because he has a LOT of work to catch up on. He tried to yesterday, but then I made it difficult by being admitted to the hospital. =) He will feel so good if he can get some work done.

Steph

Pregnancy/House Updates and Spiritual Insights

Well, this kid is almost full term. It's hard to believe! It is all very surreal and humbling, knowing I did absolutely NOTHING to deserve the blessing of being able to get pregnant. I have been reminded of that daily, and pray that I may continue to turn this blessing back to praise. The song "Blessed Be Your Name" has definitely had new meaning as I've gone on this journey. I've heard many lately say things like, "God wouldn't do that," and it has challenged me to realize that our God is a God that gives AND takes away. I have to be okay with that. More on this later...=)

Physically I have been doing pretty well. I really feel like the baby dropped last week. I definitely feel more pressure and experience more difficulty maneuvering. =) The baby is moving regularly but it's more rolling than kicking now that he/she is running out of room. My blood pressure was a little high last week, but was great yesterday, so that's good! The baby is head down and I'm measuring at 37 weeks, just a few days ahead.

Our house is awesome. =) I'll post a video tour soon. =) Thanks to our awesome friends, we are almost all moved in and have lots of painting done. We hope to be all set this weekend or early next week. It will depend a lot on our AC getting fixed....yeah, the joys of home ownership! A 9 month pregnant lady can only stand 85 degrees for so long. We still continue to praise God when the little things go wrong...like a near accident and then flat tire a mile down the road while moving...LOL. =) There really isn't anything we can do but choose joy...more on this below.

*P.S. I started this blog yesterday. Since then our air got fixed thanks to a home warranty, and we hope to be all moved in tomorrow!

Spiritually, I have been learning many things, mostly focused on the importance of the Gospel as THE one thing that needs to drive our lives. If you haven't reading Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney, you need to. It is a very short read but has transformed my thinking regarding issues like suffering, forgiveness, emotions, etc. It's not any new info, but it's basic reminders about WHY we need to serve and praise God in this life. I have a lot to share, so I'll put it in a numbered list. =)

1. Emotions cannot be trusted. "...for God SHOWS his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) We often look for a feeling when it comes to experiencing God. Emotions are NOT bad, but we need to learn about their rightful place. This verse from Romans challenged me to realize that God's love was most clearly shown on the cross. When I doubt God's love for me or "if He's there" I need to speak this truth to myself, knowing that my emotions will change, but this truth will NOT. Mahaney discusses the idea of "talking to yourself" and "preaching the Gospel to yourself." It sounds weird, but it really works. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselve of what is TRUE in order to get past what we momentarily feel. This can be applied to all sorts of situations, not just experiencing God. I use it often when it's tempting to let people's words hurt my feelings. I am MUCH more thick skinned than I used to be, and it's provided a lot of witnessing opportunities when people ask why I don't let things get to me.

2. When we realize our sinfulness and what WE'VE been saved from, it transforms how we experience anger towards others and our ability to forgive. OH HOW EASILY WE GET MAD AT PEOPLE! Seriously, I have seen this in myself and in others. It can be seen with how patient we are with people on the road or in stores, or how we react when we are "wronged." First, consider this verse from Colossians 3: 13: "...bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against the other, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you slso must forgive." Scripture says we are enemies of God! Left to our own devices, we would continue to reject God. Thanks to His mercy and grace, He works in us and draws us to Himself. Christ died on the cross and didn't just suffer physically, but suffered the WRATH OF GOD on our behalf! When we realize that we truly are enemies of God and were saved from His wrath, it is SO much easier to put into perspective how we should react when we are "wronged." Seriously, is getting your feelings hurt by what someone said or being cut off on the highway that big of a deal? My pet peeve is when others say, "He/she is so selfish." We need to seriously fight the urge to be prideful and label people based on their sin...we have been saved from the wrath of God! In sum, realizing our own sinfulness and reflecting on how much we have been forgiven from transforms our lives!

3. We WILL suffer in this life and need to have a cross-centered perspective. Now, I am not one who has suffered greatly, so I continue to pray that I can remember these truths when suffering does come. So how do you even begin to be okay with suffering? We must consider Christ. We often say how much He suffered physically, forgetting that lots of people were crucified in His day. What really matters is that He suffered the wrath of God....what WE deserved. He experienced extreme grief when faced with what was coming. Consider this from Matthew 26: 36-38: Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." He was overwelmed with sorrow to the point of death! This tells me two things: 1) We have a Savior that understands what it means to suffer, and that can bring much comfort! 2) He suffered FAR worse than we EVER will, so that helps put things in perspective.

Consider also James 1:2-4: "Count it all joy, my brothers,when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." God uses suffering to shape us into the men and women He wants us to be. Think about it, it's usually through life's trials that we learn the most about God, not when everything is going right.

So, to wrap all this up, consider the Gospel in all things. When you are "wronged", consider how much Christ suffered on our behalf and His response to it...is what you're facing that big of a deal? Consider also your own sinfulness...aren't we all selfish? Emotions are fleeting...stick to what is true and preach it to yourself if you need to! Finally, we WILL suffer in this life. Find comfort in knowing Christ understands and suffered more than we can ever imagine. That's all for now. =)

I'll be posting a tour of the house and prego pics soon...we've been a tad busy. =)

New House

Well we've been virtually absent from this blog in recent weeks, but lots has happened! Stephanie's pregnancy is still progressing very well, but she's getting a lot more tired and sore--understandably! As things move closer and closer to the delivery date, we are getting excited but nervous too. We can not wait for our little one to arrive, but we realize that we are about to launch into a brand new world!

Part of that world includes having our own house...That's right. If you don't know by now, we are official homeowners. We finally closed on our house Wednesday and have started moving in. We've made a LOT of progress, and even painted a lot of the house today and yesterday. Our family and friends have been incredibly helpful and generous in recent days; and we are incredibly thankful for them.

Complications of homeownership have already popped up, but Stephanie and I are trusting our God for help through a time where it's incredibly tempting to stress out. If our God has saved us from His wrath and made us new people, surely He can provide for our piddly needs and help us keep good attitude in the midst of difficult times.

BITO and House Hunting Update

I can't believe I am almost 30 weeks!! This baby is really coming. =) A LOT has happened the last four weeks. After my ER visit for dehydration I eventually went to the cardiologist and got lots more tests done which all came back fine. I am carrying really high, which cuts off my air supply big time, so I think all of this is to be blamed on BITO. =) I still get the racing heartbeat, but at least I now know it's nothing out of the ordinary. I failed my one hour glucose test, but passed the three hour one with flying colors! I was surprised, though, because I almost passed out twice in the first hour of the three hour one....I was told later that if I wouldn't have pushed through and finished the test, then they would have treated me as a diabetic. So, yay God! He really did sustain me through the discomfort. Not that passing out is ever fun...but now that I have come very close three times, I am starting to not get as freaked out and just breathe through it and do what I can to keep me and the baby safe.

I visited my doc today for a checkup and got a lot of good news. The passing out during the test was probably because my body doesn't like quick changes. I process sugar fine, as evidenced by my numbers, I just can't handle quick changes. No binges on sugar for me! My blood pressure was awesome and I am still averaging a weight gain of 3 pounds every 4 weeks. So many ladies stress about weight gain during pregnancy, but I feel really pretty and not fat at all. =) It's a cool thing. He found the heart beat easily, but he had trouble finding a spot where the heartbeat was loud, making him think that BITO was in a weird position, maybe breech. Obviously BITO has time to move, so I'm not getting too worried yet. =)

BITO is very very active these days. It is getting very hard to breathe at times because BITO is really high up and loves to roll. I can't complain, though, because it's a blessing to have minute by minute reminders that BITO is alive and well. =) I have my first shower in a week, and I am really excited! The last several weeks have been very eventful as far as my health, and so I am relieved to have some time to reflect on God's faithfulness through the good AND bad.

House hunting as been an adventure as well. We put offers on two houses, both sellers being unwilling to take anything less than the list price due to their own debt. We even offered the list price to the second guy, but he wanted us to pay closing too. There's just a lot of people in trouble now financially, so I guess we shouldn't be shocked. We just have yet to experience the "buyer's market." We are starting fresh tomorrow, looking at three houses in Kettering, an area that is still close to church and where several of our friends live. =) We are still as excited as when we first started, but a bit more guarded. =) There is a house out there for us, so we have no need to worry!

That's all for now!

Steph

How Deep The Father's Love For Us

I have the privelege of leading worship at our church tomorrow. One of the songs we are going to sing is this one. I think it's the first time that as I was singing a song that the gospel really struck me and sunk into my heart.


Listen particularly to the second verse and how intensely personal it is:

Behold the man upon the cross
My guilt upon his shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished.

The cross takes on such powerful meaning when I realize that He was suffering at the hand of the Father because of MY sins--and He was dying to bring ME eternal life. What a humbling thought!

Church Sign

My first ever attempt at a creative church sign:

I wasn't trying to make a political point, but a spiritual one.

By Your Side

Two Sundays ago, I sang this song in our Sunday morning worship service. I recorded it at home with our new camera and wanted to share it with you. Listen to the words. Good stuff!

ER Adventures

Well...I didn't make it to the cardiologist yesterday. Here's the story:

Well, THANKFULLY, Marc was driving me to the appointment yesterday morning, and I started feeling very faint. I was very close to passing out for about 5 minutes. It was terrifying to not be able to breathe and just see blackness for that long. I had no clue what was going on and got really worried about the baby. Each little kick during that five minutes was PRICELESS. Needless to say we called the cardiologist and they said take me to the ER, which HAPPENED to be connected to the cardiologist office. So glad we were close!! The nearest hospital is 30 minutes away from where we live. I was okay to walk by the time we got there. I spent three hours there, and they were so nice and thorough. They tested everything related to my heart: blood work, EKG, etc. They monitored the baby too, who was nice and active. =) The ruling was that I was probably dehydrated and they gave me a heart monitor for 24 hours to wear, and I'll go to the cardiologist on Monday. WHEW! I think all of this is mainly my body getting used to having a little parasite in me. =) Lesson learned...drink water!!

I'm glad I just need to wear the monitor for 24 hours...it's a pain in the butt! =) I didn't sleep well last night, but that was partly because BITO was kicking/hitting me in the ribs. It's the most active he/she has ever been...and to think a few days ago I was worried. =) Yesterday was quite humbling, and it is tempting to worry about me fainting when I'm by myself, but GOD IS SOVEREIGN. Please pray for the lady next to me in the ER. She had a brain anurysm (sp?) and was rushed to surgery. Marc and I pretty much heard them giving her the low down about possibly dying. She wasn't even able to say bye to her husband...he had left to go get something at home and wasn't feeling well himself because he had recently had a heart attack. How's THAT for a wakeup call?? Every day carrying this baby and being healthy is a blessing!

Thank God for your blessings today!

Stephanie

25/26 Week Appointment

Welp...here I am at 25/almost 26 weeks. I've grown a lot the last two weeks for sure. Today has been a challenging day, but I am thankful for our baby! I went into this appointment with some concerns about not feeling the baby move as much the last 24 hours and also pretty frequent episodes of what I would call a racing heart beat. I was nervous to say the least.


I LOVE the doc I saw today. I saw him before I got pregnant, and this is the first I had seen him in a while since I have been trying to meet all the doctors at the practice. He is very compassionate and yet tells you like it is. The best part was that I didn't feel like he was in a hurry like most docs are. He said a few times, "Is there anything else I can do for you today?" Anyhoo, the baby is FINE. I am measuring right around 26 weeks and the heart rate is fine. I need to cling to that and not get overly worried about the lack of movement the last day or so. I gained another two pounds, putting my total to 13, which is reasonable for me. =)





As far as the racing heart beat is concerned, my blood pressure was fine. However, I have been referred to a cardiologist just to be safe. The racing heart feeling happens most when I am merely relaxing, and it gets hard to breathe too. I can't even concentrate on reading an awesome book about Tony Dungy called Quiet Strength. =) So tomorrow I get to see the cardiologist and might need to wear a monitor for a week or something. Surprisingly I am still more worried about the baby's health than my own. I keep telling myself, "The baby's heart rate was FINE. Maybe the baby moved to a new position or something." I'll update you all with any news tomorrow.

May these verses challenge you today as they have me!:

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." (Psalm 62:1-2)

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:28-31)

"Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest?" (Luke 12:25-26)

An AWESOME song by Tenth Avenue North called By Your Side:

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
(Chorus 2x)

Steph

Babies, Babies, Babies

This post is all about babies...go figure. =)

First, my sister just found out she's having a girl in July....yay! Since I can't do much shopping for my kiddo, I can make up for it with her's. =) Keep praying for Rachel, Matt, Aubrey, and the new little gal in the coming months.

Second, there is a sweet, sweet couple named Zach and Sarah that are the best friends of Mike and Lindsay (Marc's brother and our sister-in-law). We have met them on a few occasions and have always enjoyed our time with them. They are looking to adopt one, maybe two, children from Rwanda, and are in need of prayers and financial support. Marc and I have been dearly blessed to be able to conceive on our own, and we feel like the LEAST we can do is pass on this story so that you can be praying for them and consider supporting them financially. You can click on the Skidmore Adoption ticker below to donate. Honestly people, how often do we waste money on frivolous things or get obsessed with saving for the future when there are needs in other's lives RIGHT NOW? This is a worthy cause. I am so thrilled for them! Please visit the following links to learn more about their story:

Intro to Zach and Sarah

http://www.not2us.net/blog/lindsay/2009/feb/sothrilled

Getting to Know Them and the Adoption Process http://www.not2us.net/blog/lindsay/2009/mar/meetzachandsarah

Enter in a Giveaway for Donating http://www.not2us.net/blog/lindsay/2009/feb/letsmakedeal

Third, in other news, BITO (bun in the oven=) is doing great! I go to the doctor next week for my 25 week check up. I am getting very antsy to say the least. I have my first shower in April, so Marc and I did a registry at Target yesterday. It's so fun but very exhausting!! I am definitely obsessed with baby stuff. My prayer lately is that I stay humbled and not get TOO excited as I know that the health of this baby is out of my hands. There is a delicate balance of not worrying too much but still realizing that God gives and takes away. In addition, I cannot let the excitement of "stuff" get in the way of my excitement of this life growing in me! I am still not showing a ton, but I definitely feel like my stomach is very full!! Digestion has been an issue to say the least. =) Here are some photos from the 20 week ultrasound. BITO gave us a thumbs up!

Fourth, please pray for my friend Melanie who I mentioned earlier this month. I taught with her in Louisville. She ended up giving birth at 24 weeks, and Jackson died a week later. I cannot even begin to imagine her grief. My burden for friends and people who I don't even know struggling with infertility, difficult pregnancies, and/or the death of a child has been overwelming the last few months, and it once again humbles me to no end that I currently have a healthy baby (as I know it) growing inside me. May I never take that for granted!!

Finally, I hate to post without turning to God's word. I have been learning a ton lately out of Proverbs. I have specifically been challenged regarding how I use my words and how I respond when people hurt me with their words or rebuke me in a godly way in order to help me grow. This verse really stuck out for me in Proverbs 17:27...it says, "A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered."

A second theme I have noticed in my devotional time is how to respond to hardship. It is the desire of my heart that I handle hardship the way that God instructs me in the Bible, and I am thankful that I am learning this now rather than in the midst of tough times. Proverbs 19:23 says, "The fear of the Lord leads to life: then one rests content, untouched by trouble." I could expand on this, but I will let you meditate on this verse yourself, as I am tired. =)

Thanks for reading!

Steph

Ordination Service tomorrow

We are very excited about the ordination service tomorrow here at our church in Beavercreek! We will try to update the site soon to let you know how things go.

Burden

Please pray for the following families. They are all families that are connected to me or friends of mine, and I just feel so sad. Why do I have a healthy baby, and they don't? BITO is 21 weeks, and two of these babies are/were close to that. God is an awesome God, indeed, and these families are already giving Him the glory. I have prayed my whole pregnancy that Marc and I would handle any adversity with the faith that we proclaim. What an awesome example these families are setting.

*10 month old Cora, diagnosed with cancer, died recently. http://themcclenahans.blogspot.com/
*The Feldman family-Lost a 2 week old little girl last year and lost 21 week old twins yesterday.
http://feldmancrew.blogspot.com/
*My friend Melanie from Louisville-24 weeks and put into hospital with bleeding and contractions yesterday...update to follow soon.

Thanks!
Steph

WE HAVE OUR BEDDING!!

So I had to post this because I am so darn excited!!! We are probably getting a white crib from a generous family at our church, and so I've been sort of going back and forth on bedding. I have always loved this one set at Target, but recently liked this set from Babies R' Us (see post below). Well, after considering costs and color, I went back to this set, called Tiddliwinks Safari from Target. When we went to the store just to browse, everything was gone!! They're overhalling merchandise and have everything on clearance. I called my mom, and she went on a search. Can I tell you how awesome she is?? She is amazingly thoughtful and loves a good bargain. =) We bought the dust ruffle on sale and were hopeful that maybe she could find the bedding set. Well she did!!! Hooray!! She also found cute baskets!! I hope this set comes back to Target so we can get some of the other cute accessories. I know there are more important things in life for sure, but it is so exciting to have something even so small work out. =) Yay for clearance! Enjoy the photos. =)

Steph

BITO update

I had my 17 week appointment today, and everything is great! I've gained 8 pounds overall, which is super, and I got to hear the heartbeat. It was scary for a minute cuz she had trouble finding BITO...I just prayed and prayed. =) It is humbling because you do realize before each appointment that it is out of your control. I will get to see BITO live via ultrasound in two weeks...yay! We are not finding out the sex of BITO, but there are days I wish we were, especially since we have the opportunity in two weeks. =) Stay warm! We're getting lots of snow and COLD weather...hoping for a delay at LEAST tomorrow.=)

Steph

Happy List

I had a GREAT day today!! God is so good. He knows just what we need and gives it to us right when He knows we need it, not always right when we want it. =) I have had a tough few days health-wise, but I knew God would bring me out of it. My digestive system has been all messed up...several days of questioning whether or not I had a 3rd round of the stomach bug or "just pregnancy." My conclusion: "just pregnancy." I just have to realize that my body is constantly adjusting to this growing miracle, and that's going to include many days of unpleasantness.

Today, I swear, was the best day I've had in a long time. So, I wanted to create a Happy List, to remind me of today when I'm not having such a good day. I figure some of you will get a kick out of it too. =) Here is my list of happy things from today:

1. Going to the dentist and having a WONDERFUL experience...nice and very knowledgeable hygienist and no cavities
2. Discovering that plug in baby swings DO exist...and at Sears of all places =)
3. Being able to walk around the mall for two hours...BIG improvement from 30 minutes 1st trimester...I'm slowly getting some energy back but might have overdone it today. =)
4. Finding JUST what I need/want at the mall, hitting the gift card amount within a dollar, and realizing what was already on sale for a good price was on sale even MORE at the register
5. Discovering a new yummy cereal that has lots of fiber to help my digestive issues (sorry TMI)...and it has a funny name...Kashi Honey Walnut Flax!
6. Starting another class for my masters today and realizing the work will be cake compared to the last class AND getting excited to learn more about teaching reading
7. Having Marc clean and fold laundry without being asked knowing it would help me (He does this a lot anyway cuz he's awesome like that. =)
9. Having Marc remind me that I missed Jon and Kate Plus 8 due to the Bachelor premiere
10. Having the option to say, "I don't feel like working tomorrow." I love subbing!

Joy is a CHOICE. Today it was easy to be joyful, but tomorrow it might not be. I pray that I may continue to remember that each day is truly better than I deserve. Thanks to Christ, I can have hope of eternal life, rather than eternal separation from God...what I deserve. Be blessed today!

Steph