Good News

I went back to the doc today...normal biopsy report...yay! I don't think anyone was ever really worried it could be cancer, but given that certain aspects of the lump pointed to cancer, we couldn't be too sure. I am glad it's over, but I am thankful for how it has changed me. There is still healing to do, so I guess it's not completely over. I took the steri strips off last night....that was probably the hardest part of the whole surgery. To actually have to look at what they did was pretty traumatic. My body is forever changed. I think I said it best when I said, "I feel like my body was invaded." So, while I have been in good spirits through most of it, I have had to come to grips with certain changes that are irreversible.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Everyone has been very supportive. I've had to miss 4 days of school in the last two weeks, so it's also helped me to continue to strive to not take my job too seriously. I've grown a lot in that area since my first year of teaching, and this experience has helped also.

Marc and I are both very excited for summer! He's almost done with school, and I'll be done May 25. Kids are testing now, and after that it's pretty much a bunch of field trips and fun. =) I am teaching 4th grade next year, so I hope to get a lot of my same kids! I'll be in our church's children's musical on May 6th. I feel good about it...amazed that I am doing it considering I still get terrified in front of people...but that just shows God's power. =) We'll let you know how it goes. =) We miss our families terribly, and we look forward to seeing them over the summer! Here are some updated photos of Aubrey...almost one already! Happy weekend!

Steph

She loves sticking out her tongue in pictures. =) This next picture I call her "Wuz Up" picture.

Day 2 of Recovery

I woke up before Marc and took off my bandages without him. =) I didn't need oil or anything. There's still a lot of sticky gunk on me, but it was painless. I have some bruising and limited movement in my arm, but other than that, it looks good...mind you steri strips are still covering the incision. Starting at noon today I started feeling pretty crummy. My body felt like it was on fire! They said to expect this, considering the medicine they used during surgery is still in me. It creates a feverish feeling. I took my fever several times, and it is just fine. On top of that, I think I tried to eat too much at once, and I had a severe stomach ache all afternoon. So, I took it easy and watched Step Up...good movie! We watched Bobby last night. Good movie too! It's about the people who were at the hotel when Bobby Kennedy was shot, though, so don't expect a lot about him.

I finally took a bath about an hour ago...interesting experience trying to keep my steri strips from getting wet. Marc tried to wash my hair but was unsuccessful. =) We had a lot of laughs!Marc is leaving tonight to provide child care at our church while the congregation has a banquet celebrating our new building. I wish I could go! It's hard for me to just lay in bed. I'm not looking forward to being alone tomorrow and possibly Tuesday if I don't go back to work. I immediately thought of my sister-in-law and the strength she showed during bed rest before Ruby was born. THis is so much easier! I'm at my own home, I can get up when I want, and I don't have to worry about the health of anyone but me. So, I'm going to suck it up and be thankful for my blessings! =)

Thank you for your continued prayer whoever reads this. =)

Love,
Steph

Surgery Update

It went beautifully! It couldn't have gone better. I said I would do it again in a heartbeat...and I might very well have to one day. We got there at 6:00 a.m....they changed my surgery time to 7:30. I went right back, got my vitals checked, and got an iv with fluids. Marc had some trouble tying the gown. =) A little while after that my fam got to come back and hang with me for a while. They were surprised at how cheerful I was. So was I..tee hee. Pastor Russ came and prayed with us. =) What an awesome pastor we have. Then the anesthesiologist came back and gave me a "relaxer" in my iv. It was sweet. That's when I started having some gaps in my memory. I went to the OR shortly after and was out before they could start asking questions like they usually do to see if you're out. =)

I woke up in recovery not in pain at all really. I remember having tubes in my nose and not being about to see. The first thing I remember saying is, "They need more social worker in schools." Of course, I would say that first. I'm pretty sure they had said to me prior to that how brave it was to be a teacher. LOL...maybe they didn't, who knows. =) I had only been there 15 minutes when I started becoming lucid. My nurse was SO nice. We talked a lot about school and such. I remember most of it. I got back to my room I had before and got some diet coke and crackers. My family came back and were really shocked at how chipper and awake I was. =) That was my biggest concern/prayer request...that I would handle being put out okay and that I wouldn't be a meanie. =) The surgery was only 45 mins., so that's why I came out pretty quick probably. Mom got scared by all the blood on the back of my gown and on the bed, but it was just leftover from surgery....it sorta scared me too. =)

I was ready to walk outta there, but I had to go in a wheel chair...a little over zealous I think. =) I was home by 10:30. I got pain meds and felt pretty groggy 1/2 the day, but then I read while mom and dad caught up on sleep. Seems backward, eh? They bought us all sorts of groceries and visited most of the afternoon, then Bob and Diana came to visit. WE LOVE OUR FAMILIES SO MUCH! They were so thoughtful and giving as usual. Bob, we'll use the $ for ice cream for sure, thanks for the thoughtfulness! =) I agree Mom and Pops should have gift cards. =)

Right now, I feel great! My pain meds wore off by 2, but I haven't needed another. It's about 8:30. It's basically just a stinging pain at the wound and a stiffness. I'm sure it'll get worse before better, but for now I'm comfy! I can move my arm fine thankfully, since the lump was more central. The doc told the fam that it looked just how he expected when he took it out, so that's a good sign. I'll know the results by Wednesday. I'll talk another day off Monday to go back to the doc. Tomorrow I get to take off the gauze....it'll be scary and painful. Probably more scary for Marc. =) That's when it'll probably hit me cuz I'll see the incision, but I am so incredibly thankful for this whole experience. It really couldn't have gone better.

God is sovereign, He loves me, and we are trusting Him big time. While we are doubtful it's cancer, there is still a chance, so we're prepared for anything. Thank you all for your prayers! We love you!

Steph

Surgery Time

What a roller coaster we've been through these last two days! I've gone back and forth with my decisions. It's good to have it final. The doc said it is more than likely benign. He didn't seem concerned at all. So that helped a lot. We discussed a needle biopsy versus an excisional biopsy (where they take it out). Since I would want it taken out regardless, I went for the excisional. There's a history of cancer in my family, and even if the lump is benign, it could affect future mammograms (i.e. it could block other lumps). What threw me for a loop was when to schedule...do a wait til school's out and trust the doc, or do I miss several days of school during testing or end of the year events. I went back and forth and changed my mind a lot. =) I am in no way putting school above my health....it's just a PAIN to put together sub plans and to miss being there for your kids during testing. Well...my doc is awesome! He is making special accomodations and coming in on a SATURDAY. THIS SATURDAY. =) My surgery is at 9:00 a.m. It's a three day recovery, so I may try going back to school on Tuesday. HOW'S THAT FOR BLESSINGS! I won't miss much school, and I don't have too wait long to find out. Whoo hoo!

I'm feeling good. Of course I'm nervous, but I am under the protection of the creator of the UNIVERSE...not bad, eh? We've called lots of people, but we figure most of you read this anyway. Your prayers will be a huge help! =) Thanks!

Steph

Update

We had a great time in Nashville. The highlight was the Grand Ole Opry....so much history there! We got to see Vince Gill and the Wreckers (Michelle Branch's group). It was also neat to see a former guitar player of Johnny Cash and a former guitar player for Elvis. It was nice to wrap up our break with some time away. We've both got a lot going on this next month. But as always, we've got God on our side, so there's nothing to worry about. =)

My ultrasound went fine. The lady was really nice...felt bad for making me wait 3 hours. =) People needed her in the ER...I was patient naturally. =) She told me pretty conclusively what the lump was. They call it a fibroadenoma. It's definitely a solid lump about 3 centimeters. She said it would probably need a biopsy. Most come back benign, and this seems very common, so I'm not worrying too much. God is sovereign and is in control! I'm meeting with my OBGYN Tuesday to discuss the findings and decide on a course of action...I'm anticipating biopsy. I'm resisting the temptation to get annoyed that I'll have to take off two days from school for this. This week is review and then testing begins next week. But I quickly realize that it is incredibly selfish of me to think missing two days is going to affect these kids' achievement on the test. For real, at this point I've done all I can, and now it's their turn to work hard. =)

I love how God challenges us. It always brings so much insight! I wouldn't quite call this "suffering", but it gives me an answer for when people ask, "Why does God bring suffering?" Thanks for reading.

Steph

This World Has Nothing for Me....

The subject line is the first phrase from a song that came to mind right when I was considering blogging today. Two things happened within the last 24 hours that were huge wake up calls for me. First a quote:


"Heaven is not here, it's there. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for."


Elisabeth Elliot

Two events have reminded me big time that as a Christ follower, this world is not all there is. Praise God! However, it's humbling also to consider how any day can be my last. I know that's cliche, but really, how often do we think of that? When we're treating our family badly or complaining about our job or stress, how often do we stop and think, "Would I want this to be my last moment?"


Anyway, first, I found a lump in my breast a few months ago and asked my OBGYN about it today. She confirmed it was an abnormal lump. She didn't seem overly concerned and said it's probably just a cyst. However, I am going at 6:15 today to the hospital to get an ultrasound on it. Pray for me! It is humbling to think I could have cancer. I mean really, so often I assume "Everything will be fine" but it might not! So I'm trying to balance being positivie with preparing for bad news.


Second, yesterday I could have been in a very horrific accident. It was pouring down rain...the hard to see through type. I was several car lengths behind a pickup in the far left lane. All of a sudden he hydroplaned, did a 360, and spun across the highway right in front of me. If I would have been a lot closer, I wouldn't have been able to stop. Additionally, there was a guy not too far behind me. I stopped to make sure the guy was okay. Beside a little blood from cuts and shock, he seemed to be fine.

When all is said and done, I am thankful I know where I am going when I die. However, I want to make the most of this life also. This was a wakeup call to live each day glorifying God through my attitude toward all things, good and bad.

Speaking of good things, Ruby and Aubrey are both growing so much!! We need to scan new pics of Aubrey, but here are some of Ruby! =)


-Steph